[Kaworu feels sick, too. Soryu and Shikinami... And while Shikinami actually gives Kaworu some sense of validation — it's been so difficult, the feeling that he's been made to relive past tense — Shikinami's presence is going to, and has already, upset what little balance Shinji-kun has found.]
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Your body is reacting to your anxiety. She scares you? She isn't your enemy, Shinji-kun. If she doesn't know that, she'll learn it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Size has no bearing on the soul. Your body houses something grand and expansive. That smallness is a vessel for something incredible.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
To be delicate is not to be weak. Leaves are thin. They brown and crumble. But in the fertile seasons, they renew from the same roots.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Shinji-kun isn't disgusting. You're very beautiful.
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You're the only one who thinks so.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I don't know why.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I feel sick.
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FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Your body is reacting to your anxiety. She scares you? She isn't your enemy, Shinji-kun. If she doesn't know that, she'll learn it.
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Of course she scares me. Everything scares me. I'm a coward, Kaworu-kun.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
Everyone always tells me to grow up but now I never will. I'm going to be like this forever.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
And if you leave me then no one else will love me.
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Nothing will stop me from loving you.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Nothing has that power.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Have faith that I'll come back to you.
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If I had to wait Kaworu-kun...I might as well die.
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FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
I waited
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I can't wait forever, Kaworu-kun, even if I tried my best to. I'm only Human.
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Kaworu doesn't want to wait forever.]
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
I'll get it right before forever comes.
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Can't it be right this time? Is it wrong?
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It's hard
[He shouldn't even admit that. But oh, he's so tired. Soryu is a rotten past; Shikinami is a harsh reminder. He's so tired.]
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I want to be someone worthy of you, Kaworu-kun. I want to be able to stand on my own two feet.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
I don't want you to feel responsible for my mistakes or shortcomings.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
But I'm scared.
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You are so worthy, of everything I have to offer.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
You can flourish into greatness.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
You're stricken in every way. Adversity pursues you. You're lost, and aggrieved. You're brought low.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
But you aren't vanquished. You aren't ruined. You aren't forsaken.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Because I will not forsake you.
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I don't want to be apart from you.
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I'm trying.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Our friendship is important to me.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
Shikinami won't change that. Eva won't change it.
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Are we just friends, Kaworu-kun?
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We're friends. Did you want to be something else? Family? Lovers?
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Usually friends don't hold hands or kiss each other, Kaworu-kun...
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But you like those things?
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I'm scared of being close to people, Kaworu-kun...but with you I feel safe. It feels okay.
FROM: ikari.shinji@cdc.org
But if it's...not something you like I don't want you to do it for my sake.
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I like it.
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...Really? You're not just saying that?
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I like it.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
I wouldn't lie.
FROM: nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
I like it.
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Then...if you like it...can we be more than just friends, Kaworu-kun? Can we be together?
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Closer than friends?
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