apologies to future mes and yous.

background music.

2016-09-30T01:35:45Z

( highest achievement )

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drift fleet inbox.

2016-01-31T07:07:09Z

I'd really like to hear from you. If you leave me a message, I'll return it.

(voice, video, text.)

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application for drift fleet.

2016-01-16T08:56:00Z

( he's stuck in the sky )

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singing the glowworm song

2015-08-11T06:20:49Z

[The frogs are keening. The crickets aren't; they're being eaten, or are afraid of being eaten, by those same frogs. The pond in the park is man-made — Lilin change their Earth so much! — but the frogs seem to really like it. Kaworu can hear a lot of them crying in the twilight.

But the real attraction is the fireflies' shifting cosmos. They aren't brilliant or static, instead dim and staggering, but Kaworu tries to see constellations in them. If Lilin can see a bow or a bull in the stars, maybe Kaworu can see something he loves in these little lights. Nothing so far, though.]

So the ritual is to put them in jars?

[Kaworu's much less impressed with his current company than he is with the fireflies, and it's evident in his voice. He could share the fireflies' glow if he wanted to; he could be the moon to their wandering stars. His company cannot. His company is plainly pale instead of ethereal.

It's ugly, but Kaworu's so jealous of the inability to be beautiful like moonlight.]

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day 147

2015-07-22T04:46:49Z

I was told some time ago that I should keep a diary. It was because I'd said so many things that the person must have thought I needed an outlet. I didn't agree... I thought I had outlet enough. I'd been presented with more people to talk with than I'd ever had before. If I had things to say, I could say them.

But there are some cases where that's not true. I was mistaken about the purpose of a diary. It's not about what I can say to other people. It's about what I can't. It's about what I need to say to myself. I didn't think I needed that. I was wrong about that, too. These are the things I want to say.

I don't need to explain Ikari Shinji-kun here. If I'm talking to myself, I already know the depth of my love and the breadth of his beauty. I was sure, too, that I knew what fear felt like. Every day, I find more things I've gotten wrong. There's nothing as cold and terrifying as the thought that I might be apart from him forever, with no chances left to me.

Yet this organization threatens me constantly. Though I've been granted a deep closeness with him, the CDC takes any opportunity it can to separate us. I can bear to be away for a time — I can wait. But the situations he's placed in while I'm not around to help scare me. It's as simple as that. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I'll come looking for him and he'll be the one who's gone. What I mean is that I'm afraid he's going to die.

If I'm faced with that possibility, nothing else matters. I believe in his strength, but his own hands are so much smaller than Eva's. If I'm faced with that possibility, nothing else matters. What they ask of me is nothing compared to what losing Ikari Shinji-kun would take from me. If I'm faced with that possibility, nothing else matters. I can only rely on what time we have together right now.

If we'll be apart again tomorrow, I can only rely on today.

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tl;dr adam is a literal god

2015-01-26T00:58:18Z

❚❚❚❚❚ ＳＯＵＬＳ　ＡＮＤ　ＹＯＵ．

Should your character have any amount of soul-perceiving abilities, they’ll probably be able to tell a few things about Kaworu upon meeting him or inspecting his soul.

❚
It will be apparent to any character who can define souls by sensing them that Kaworu is absolutely not human. It’s most likely that his species is one they’ve never encountered before; his designation is “Angel,” but he is no member of some heavenly host, and his soul itself is spawned from beings known as the “First Ancestral Race.”

❚❚
If your character can sense a soul’s qualities, they will find, within Kaworu, an incredible brightness. Kaworu’s soul, Adam, is described as a giant of light, and will be accordingly luminescent.

❚❚❚
Characters who can perceive the physical qualities of a soul will find more than just light. Adam is massive, and manifests huge, breathtaking wings. A human’s soul is a speck compared to Adam’s. (Perhaps it seems strange for such a tremendous soul to be housed in such a tiny body.)

❚❚❚❚
Those who can sense some sort of personality in a soul will find that Kaworu’s is feminine — a mother, in fact. They may also note the incredible, seemingly impossible age of the soul: Adam is literally billions of years old, around 4,500,000,000 at youngest. She is an actual progenitor of early life, and has existed since before the Earth formed.

Ultimately, whatever your character finds, they may think that Kaworu is a god or simply an alien, and they wouldn't be wrong in either case.

Please tell me if you have any questions about the qualities Kaworu’s soul may display.

❚❚❚❚❚ ＳＯＵＬＳ　ＡＮＤ　ＫＡＷＯＲＵ．

Likewise, Kaworu himself is able to sense souls, and, to a degree, perceive them. Please let me know here how much is okay and how much isn't.

Character name + journal: Does your character have a soul?: I must warn you that Kaworu is prejudiced against individuals without souls. yikes Does your character have a human soul?: What this means: if your character was born human — regardless of whether their body has changed in some way, if their soul still exists as it did at birth — Kaworu will perceive them as human. For example, he won't know that a vampire is a vampire if that vampire has the same soul it was born with as a human. Is the state of your character's soul a secret?: If someone is pretending to be human or is hiding some sort of quality of their soul, let me know and I'll let you know if Kaworu, for any reason, wants to breathe a word of it to any character. I'll ask for your permission first! If this is the case, leave your contact info here, please (whether you want me to get in touch via plurk, PM, AIM, etc). Extra: Did your character's soul originate in another body? Is it fragmented; does it have pieces missing? Is it great in size? Anything potentially relevant goes here.

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lmao... daggr meme

2015-01-07T01:53:23Z

● ○ ○ ○ ○

○ ● ○ ○ ○

○ ○ ● ○ ○

○ ○ ○ ● ○

○ ○ ○ ○ ●

●●●	About Kaworu Nagisa
I like music, stargazing, and trying new things. I'd also like to hear stories about yourself. It would be wonderful to meet you. I am not a religious figure.

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consignment cr.

2014-12-30T13:26:34Z

( love and peace, or else. )

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visuals & background music. (image heavy post)

2014-12-30T12:57:39Z

( pretentious )

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black box draft

2014-12-19T22:26:06Z

( gross )

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navigation.

2014-12-11T05:34:14Z

how's my driving? | background music | inspiration blog

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permissions post.

2014-08-30T06:39:49Z

❚❚❚❚❚ ＢＡＳＩＣＳ．

■ NAME & ID CODE: Kaworu Nagisa | NHD-C12-NGS-004
■ CANON: Evangelion 3.0, following his death.
■ AGE: [REDACTED] (physically fifteen.)
■ CURRENT TEAM & STATUS: green : commando. physically healthy. emotionally exhausted. deeply determined.
■ LANGUAGE: German. Japanese. English. Will likely carry a conversation in most Earth tongues.
■ INVENTORY:
♪unit 13 plugsuit
♪violins (2)
♪polaroid camera w/ film
♪shirts (two t-shirts, one short-sleeved button-down, one sweatshirt, two jackets), trousers (one pair grey flannel pants, one pair plain black trousers), scarf, hideous shoes (two pair)
♪misc. hygiene products (ritzy stuff, for special occasions)
♪CDC goodies
♪name tag w/ chain
♪walkman w/ eternal battery
♪basketball
♪2 kg bakelite
♪large headless angel statue (thanks, dagger)
♪119 credits

❚❚❚❚❚ ＩＣ．

■ PHYSICAL AFFECTION:
Warm and welcoming. He doesn't much acknowledge personal space.

■ PHYSICAL VIOLENCE:
♪Kaworu has died for the greater good before, and more than once at that. The lives of many are more critically valuable than his own life. That said, the only individual he is willing to die for is Shinji Ikari.

♪Again: Kaworu believes in the greater good. He has killed his own kin for humanity's sake; he will not shy away from taking violent action when it's needed. This isn't to say he'd feel good about killing sapient creatures.
Unsurprisingly, of special note would be any scenario pertaining to Shinji's safety. To Kaworu, no life is more important than Shinji's, and so any life can be discarded in favor of him.

♪Mutilating or otherwise handling almost any corpse would be managed clinically.

■ RELATIONSHIPS:
He's incredibly open to friendship with pretty much anyone. Kaworu is very patient, and will welcome even the awkward, the irritable, and the misanthropes. The compassion and goodwill he offers are very real, and he's eager to connect with people. He's deeply lonely and deeply loving. It can be difficult for him, however, to separate the individual from the masses. He treasures pretty much everyone about the same amount. If everyone's a special snowflake, is anyone really a special snowflake?
Kaworu talks sweetly to most people he meets, and seems very romantically inclined, but he is in love with Shinji Ikari.

■ MENTAL INFORMATION:
Lonely, guilty, and desperate. His low sense of self-worth leads to him undervaluing his own life. Though curious and contemplative, his mind is overwhelmed by one singular interest: This time, I will, at least, make you happy. Everything revolves around Shinji. Despite these qualities, his kind nature is genuine, his love is earnest, and he doesn't fake his calm.

Those digging deeper will find that he's very repressed. His desperation simmers under his contented smile. His innate destructive urges are crushed low underneath the spring of his love. Sliding into his mind may hit you with a wave of deep exhaustion. Even in all his determination, the strain of living and dying and dying and dying — trying and failing and failing and failing — has been very taxing. He'll make speeches to those in need about love and hope and forgiveness, but they're also meant as urgent reminders for his own necessity.

■ MEDICAL INFORMATION:
Vertebrate. Breathing is not a necessity. Doesn't exactly require nutrition, though sustenance may be useful in restoring energy from time to time; can absolutely feel an instinctive hunger. Two eyes, two sets of five fingers.

■ FAVORITE SENSORY INPUT:
Sound, closely followed by touch.

■ OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS & TRIGGERS:
He pretty much completely bluescreens if it's indicated that he's failed at his specific goal. Grievous harm coming to his plans, or to Shinji Ikari, would destabilize him to the point of losing the ability to function. The idea of being cloned deeply disturbs him. He's told no one these facts, but if asked, would answer honestly.

■ REBELLIOUS TENDENCIES:
Kaworu isn't any stranger to being traitorous, but currently finds no gain in disobeying the CDC. However, if rebelling were to benefit Shinji, Kaworu wouldn't think twice before turning his cloak.

❚❚❚❚❚ ＯＯＣ．

■ PLAYER: Rinna
■ PREFERRED CONTACT: PM : sodapoppet : ridiculous moths @ AIM
■ BACKTAGGING: It sustains me.
■ THREADHOPPING: I don't mind.
■ FOURTHWALLING: Let's discuss it first.
■ ACTION VS PROSE: I'm fine with either. I default to brackets, but I've got absolutely no problem losing them.
■ OFFENSIVE SUBJECTS & TRIGGERS: I blanch at little.
■ YES/NO SCENARIOS:
♪I want to avoid permadeath.

♪I'm not one to care for playing out sex, if it even comes up, though it doesn't make me uncomfortable enough to list it as a hard no; I'm just not very good at it and it doesn't interest me. Likewise, I'll need to be intrigued by a 'bigger picture' in order to play out things like sexual violence or brutal torture wherein my character has no chance of fighting back. I'm not opposed to them, but I'll need a better reason than 'just because.'

♪Most things in general are fair game. If you have an idea, or if something comes up, and you feel unsure as to whether it's appropriate to go ahead, just let me know, but chances are that I'll accommodate you.

■ ANYTHING ELSE? This is a more specific permissions post regarding Kaworu and his ability to sense or perceive souls. Important! Also,

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cdc inbox.

2014-08-30T05:35:26Z

nagisa.kaworu@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES

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consignment application.

2014-08-25T07:18:00Z

( i died a sudden death )

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how's my driving?

2013-05-28T04:09:08Z

Every note is a joy! That is to say, if you leave me a note right here, I'll be glad to read it. Whether you've got some constructive criticism for how I'm playing Kaworu - or indeed how I'm playing in general! - or you'd like to say anything else, this is where you can put it. Anonymous commenting is enabled.

PMs are also enabled, and that's another good way to get ahold of me. If you've got an inkling of how I might improve, I'd really like to know! Thanks in advance, I'll do my best.

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

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